God must really laugh at me sometimes. Because when I'm all done with my little time of fear and crying, I have to laugh at myself. I know the "Maker of the wind" so whom, at what do I have to fear?
Mammogram time again, and 4 days of not hearing anything back from them, so of course I think I'm in the clear. I was singing for joy, and even called my mom and said, "well I guess I'm in the clear praise God!" I was even talking to God and said, "wow God, I can't believe this time when the test was being done I had no negative thoughts. I wasn't as scared as I use to be, thank you Father."
Then day 5.... I get a call on my way home from work. Her sweet soft voice said, "hello Kim, how are you today honey?" Well I knew something was up, so I said "let me pull over." She said "we need you to go and see a surgeon and get an opinion on what we saw." I don't need to tell you how that fear just creped itself right through every song I was singing, and every bible verse and promise I know! Talk about getting right to the point and not beating around the bush. I got so scared because of course they can't tell you anything. So now comes the next appointments to make, and the waiting game. Well I cried all the way home, so scared because I let my thoughts carry me so far away! The one thing I know I felt differently about, was I didn't ask God why? I was in full trust of Him knowing and holding EVERYTHING about this. Also that no matter what, I still, and always will love Him with my whole heart. Nothing will EVER change that.
Then day 6.... New day, new song, and a great word from God! I was singing again and not even knowing anything more than what I knew yesterday. I was still going to have to see a surgeon and hear what he sees from the films. But my belief, my hope and trust , my faith, was right back where my Father in heaven wanted it to be! Boy does that piss the enemy off. I love when God puts me, and holds me in this place!!!
Above is the song, and here are some of the lyrics that just made me so JOYFUL!... "Dark skies overhead, and I remember what You said, that You would NEVER leave. Rough waters all around, but here I am on SOLID GROUND as You reach down to me. If You are on my side, whom shall I fear?.... (Here's my favorite part).... "Well I know the Maker of the wind, the Master of the waves, forgiver of my sins. Well I know the One who holds my hope, so I won't be afraid when storms come blowing in. I KNOW THE MAKER OF THE WIND!!!
Yes I am human, and I will get tripped up from time to time. But God is so good, with a new word to remind me of how important faith in Him is. Jesus said in Matthew 8: 13 " Go your way as you have believed, so let it be done for you." God delights to do great things, if it is His will. When we exercise faith in God, we're telling Him, "I BELIEVE !!" To worry about anything is OUR OWN CHOICE, and lack of faith! God can't help that. He can heal us of anything if it is His will to do so. He does tell us in His word, "DO NOT WORRY." Worry is not of God, so let it go. That's when you will receive the "Peace that passes all understanding."
Love for God should be with NO CONDITIONS attached !! Just like He loves us. I love God in good, and bad, and scary times, because God is good all the time. He knows the number of my days, and I will trust Him always! ...... So go ahead wind..... blow. My Maker holds me.
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Kim
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